I'm Slipping and BTB (back to basics)

Where has my determination gone?  Same place as it's always gone.  This past weekend was a bust.  Friday night to Sunday afternoon.  This seems to be the norm for me.  I go gung-ho for the first 10 lbs. and then I give into cravings and am not strong mentally to tell myself "NO".  We are leaving Yuma on Thursday morning, and this week food wise will be about eating what's in the fridge and trying no to buy much else that would go to waste. 


So, today is Monday.  Start again today making the best choices I can, including a walk this morning.
Affirmations!

10 Healing Affirmations

• I nourish myself with healing foods every day that satisfy and totally heal my mind and body.
• I deserve and accept vibrant health and wellness into my life right now.
• I love myself completely and take excellent care of my mind and body.
• I am totally safe and surrounded by love, light, peace, and joy.
• I am completely relaxed and my mind and body is peaceful and calm. All is wonderful in my life.
• I let go of all that I no longer need. My body is healing quickly and easily.
• My past is done and I release it. I live in the present with happiness, love, and joy.
• I live my life with radiant good health totally knowing that all is well and I feel fantastic.
• I rest peacefully every night knowing that my body is healing and rejuvenating while I sleep.
• I have abundant energy and a strong healthy immune system.

3 weeks SBD

Today was a quick day to Algodones, MX to have our teeth cleaned and get my arthritis medicine.  Only had to stand in line to walk back across the border.  We brought Jene & Ron with us and decided afterwards to lunch at Mi Rancho on 4th St.  Good food.  Not much for me to comment on so I'll just post what the foods we ate today.

Breakfast - Coffee w/creamer
                   1 egg
                   3 sausage links
                   1 strawberry
                   4 oz. V-8 juice
Lunch      - Margarita
                   Chicken Fajitas
                   2 corn tortillas
                   1/4 cup each rice & beans
                   Chips and salsa
Dessert      - Mocha Ricotta
Water throughout the day.  Only exercise was walking.

Vegetables, Vegetables and MORE Vegetables

Yes, that's my gripe today.  I have eaten so many vegetables that I must look like one.  As of today, the only vegetable we'll have in the morning is our glass of V-8 juice.  I just need a break from them one meal a day.  Dinner we are going to a hosted Volunteer appreciation dinner. No control on what they are serving us, so only I can chose what I'll eat.
So today;

Breakfast - 1 egg
                   2 Canadian Bacon
                   Strawberries
                   V8 juice
Snack       - 1/2 apple
                   1/8 cup almonds
Lunch      - Greek Yogurt
                   Steamed Broccoli and cauliflower mix
                   Shrimp & Beef stirfry
Snack       - Ricotta Cheese
Dinner     - Slice ham
                  Gren Beans
                  Scalloped Potatoes
                  2 glasses red wine

How to Make Good Choices

Not really a revelation, but a very good reminder.  Do not have so much to drink of alcohol that we do not make wise choices.  Yesterday was a great day for food and exercise until the afternoon at the Pool Party.  Joel and I thought we had it all planned.  We'd bring ice water with fresh veggies and humus. Everyone else brought other goodies to go along with the hot dogs/chips that were being sold.  We did just fine on the food, but where we became weak was when we were offered a margarita. We were going to share, then each had our own. One went to two.  They were strong margaritas and we both were feeling no pain.  :(  We got home and of course were too tired to prepare dinner and rather then heat something up, we got some Asian food and it was so so good.  All in all, we were pretty good at what we chose to eat, but today, we woke up and knew we had to pay the piper. 



Breakfast - sautéed veggies, scrambled eggs & Canadian bacon
                  banana & blueberries
Lunch      - fresh mixed salad bowl
                  Jicama and humus
Snack      - Pistachio nuts
Dinner     - Salmon
                1/2 sweet potato
                 asparagus
                strawberries
Dessert    - Ricotta cheese w/almonds




Lot's of water and 20 minute cardio on bike and free weights 5 minutes.



We bought dumbbells today.  2 - 5lb weights and 2 - 8lb weights.  Hoping to keep these with us and use them when we can't get to the fitness center and on our travels.




Keep moving and keep mindful!

Old Habits Die Hard

For the last two days my struggle has been in the mid to late afternoon.   Food is on my mind and I've had a healthy protein/veggie meal for lunch.  By about 2:30 to 3:00pm I start thinking about food. The thought stays on my mind until I satiated my appetite.  Both yesterday I ate my chocolate ricotta with almonds.  This is so good and I enjoy every bite.  I want more, but I did quit and instead ate 30 pistachio nuts.  This is a bad habit that I need to get rid of. Food seems to be stronger then I am.  How am I going to beat this problem?

• go out and take a walk
• drink water
• read a book out doors

My meals for today.

9:45am Scrambled eggs with onions, mushrooms, green peppers, Italian squash.

             1/4 cup blueberries

             1/4 banana

             5 oz. V8 juice

             1 cup coffee with FF creamer

12:30pm Steamed assorted vegies

               12 small shrimp

               1/2 cup Chinese noodles

2:30pm  1/2 cup chocolate ricotta mouse

5:30pm  Italian turkey sausage & peppers/onions
              Salad

Exercise for today has been upper arms/shoulders with weights.  (I hope to take a walk this evening.)

Starting of Phase 2 & Weigh In

The day I've been waiting for.  I weighed in and was happy to see I lost 10 1/2 lbs.  I did real good in my choices and all the preparations.  I moved every day, either walking or some exercises in the pool.  I plan to step it up tomorrow.  Mostly with weight exercise.  I also plan on going to Walmart getting some vegetables and see if they have weights there.  If not there, Big 5. 

My plan also is to add here daily what I'm eating so I can keep track of it.
9am - 1/3 piece 100% whole wheat bread, no butter
      1 egg
      1/2 cup steamed spinach
      1/2 orange
      3 oz. v8 juice
      1 cup coffee with FF creamer
11am -1 celery with Cow cheese
1pm - 1/2 chicken breast on tossed salad with multiple veggies
3:3Opm - Ricotta cheese with crushed almonds
5:45pm - 2 oz. BBQ top sirloin
         1/2 sweet potato
         steamed cauliflower & spinach
         5 oz. red wine
water through out the day

Exercise today consisted of a lovely walk with Joel at West Wetlands Park.

Day 14 - SBD.... Two Weeks of Hard Work

This has been the best I've eaten for a very long time. This has also been the longest I've gone with out enjoying wine.  Since retirement, this has become a daily ritual for us.  I've missed it, the taste, and just the positive time that seems to go with it.  I see though that I've placed too much emphasis on wine and food.  It has been about the experience, socializing, comfort, taste, and bad habits.  All leading me to the health problems I currently have.   I know I repeat myself, as I've already said this, but hopefully the more I say this, the more I can't have the good and the bad sunk into my brain. 

So 14 days, good food, healthy food and I'm NOT turning back.  Tomorrow I weigh myself. Ugh!  However I'm looking forward to see how my diligence and hard work has paid off.  I'm hoping for no less then 10 lbs. In two weeks, we begin our vacation and will have 6 weeks that will be the biggest challenge ever.  Nothing but fruit/veggies/lean protein/low carb legumes, sweet potatoes and no more then 1 glass of wine a day. (5 oz.)  Every day we will plan our day. Hotels are notoriously bad on breakfast options. Coffee and that's it. We will scope out the closest grocery store and get our needed items.

Feeling good about the discipline and strength it took for these two weeks!

Don't Ever Stop Trying

Here I am, Day 9 and am starting to get the feel for this.  I have 5 days left for Phase 1 of the SBD.  I've learned a couple things recently.  I'm starting with Saturday.  We had friends over for games that afternoon.  Great fun!  Joel and I decided that it would be just a game afternoon with no food or beverages (other then the ice-tea I made).  This is quite different then I normally do.  I love planning on special appies and fun cocktails along with what ever we are doing with friends.  It turned out really well not having that and made the planning much simpler. Friends were over about 4 hours and by the time they went home.  I came in to put dinner together.  I was so hungry and so very tired that I had nothing left in me to go through the effort.  I got Joel to take us to Applebee's as that was the closest and the most likely to have the food we are use to eating now. It was so busy, that the only place available to eat was at the bar.  So we figured sitting at the bar we'd be expected to order a drink.  We thought about it and both order the house red wine.  Also chose the best meals we thought would be close to what we can eat.  We did relatively good.  We pushed aside the rice, potatoes and croutons.  The next morning however I was feeling like I really let myself down.  I didn't make the entire 14 days without being 100% on Phase 1.  I'm so glad I have a helpful partner in Joel as he just said let it go, we did the best we could do and it does not mean we're bad people.  Today I'm fine.  However, what I've learned from this?  Be prepared.  Next time, fix ahead what we'll have for a meal so that when guests leave, with a push of a button, dinner will be ready. 

Next, there have been very few exercises that I like or do not hurt when I do them.  I've continued over all these years to keep moving.  I've biked, swam, walked, kayaked, hiked, skied, water skied, tai chee, yoga and working out at the gym.  Some of these have been fun, other's have been pure work.  In my 50's, it became increasingly difficult to exercise do to the fibromyalgia. Sometimes it hurt, other times I was just too tired.  However I do not want to loose what little strength I have and know I must keep it moving.  In a previous posts, I mentioned that one of my goals is to be able to walk up one flight of stairs with out panting. That's why this is the year.  I keep trying things until I find what works.  In my quest, I've found that if I can spend about 10 - 15 minutes in a Jacuzzi to warm up my joints and body, I then can go into the pool and keep moving my body for over an hour.  It's gently exercise and I plan to keep doing this until I've lost more weight to take pressure off my knees and start climbing stairs.  Moving in the pool is so enjoyable and I have a friend that met me at that pool today that I hope will continue while we are here in Yuma. 

Something I read in the paper this morning I was encouraged by . Don't ever stop trying!

"A flock of ducks were flying south for the winter. They flew over a farmyard where chickens were being raised. One of the ducks dropped out of the familiar "V pattern" to share the lunch being enjoyed by the chickens. He really liked the meal. Significantly pleasant to him was the provision being brought to him by the farmer. The situation was so inviting that the duck... decided to spend the winter with the well-fed groundlings. Flying and finding food did not seem at all attractive to his lifestyle!
It was not too long until spring came. The well-fed duck saw the V-shaped formation of ducks flying north toward home for the summer. It was time for him to join his family the return. He stretched his wings for flight. Lift-off did not occur! Unused ability and continual satisfaction of appetite became evident. Flabby muscles and excessive dining had a restrictive effect. He was grounded! He had forgotten his basic origin and high potential. Never quit trying and flying."

This story was told by a respected teacher of religion in the early 1900's. You can see how it also could apply to those of us working towards the best health we can be. 2 thoughts here, if you don't use it you loose it and if you live the easier lifestyle, it's only easy for awhile.

Patience With Results/Affirmation List

So, what's on my mind this morning and how am I going to deal with it?  This morning I'm struggling with patience and seeing results. I began Day 5 today on the SBD, and 5 days of yoga or workout with Dean & Chanel.  I am not weighing myself until March 4 as that will be 14 days on the Phase 1 portion.  My thought in doing that is to concentrate on living and eating healthy regardless of what the scales say.  But I found myself this morning feeling disappointed that my clothes were still fitting the same as they were 5 days ago.  The only area skinnier is my lower legs and ankles. I have 9 days left on the first phase and I need to remember why I'm doing this. 

So, how am I going to handle this?  First, by remembering like I said, why am I doing this.  Although there is no denying it, I want so badly to loose this excess weight. I'm tired of being the fat one in my family. That's my truth...however what has brought me to this place is my health.  I can't take long walks, hikes, climb stairs and do complete cardios. My cholesterol is high and I'm taking meds for it. I'm pre-diabetic  and my dr. recently said I'm pre-renal with the kidneys. The kidney issue is primarily because I have taken pain pills for years for Fibromyalgia and Arthritis.  Now I'm off pain pills and attempting to work with Yoga for pain management.  When I get discouraged about the slowness of the "new look" for me, I am going to say; "Stay the course Janice and the rest will follow."

I am here to simplify my life and choose what matters most and I have to believe that health is on the top of this list. I now have an affirmation list that will keep my mindful of what matters.

10 Healing Affirmations

• I nourish myself with healing foods every day that satisfy and totally heal my mind and body.
• I deserve and accept vibrant health and wellness into my life right now.
• I love myself completely and take excellent care of my mind and body.
• I am totally safe and surrounded by love, light, peace, and joy.
• I am completely relaxed and my mind and body is peaceful and calm. All is wonderful in my life.
• I let go of all that I no longer need. My body is healing quickly and easily.
• My past is done and I release it. I live in the present with happiness, love, and joy.
• I live my life with radiant good health totally knowing that all is well and I feel fantastic.
• I rest peacefully every night knowing that my body is healing and rejuvenating while I sleep.
• I have abundant energy and a strong healthy immune system.

Phase 1 - Day 4 SBD

We are now into our 4th day and noticing some mental challenges hitting us.  I'm so glad I have this to do with my hubby. Where he is weak, I seem to be strong.  When I'm weak, he seems to be strong.
The 2 areas I'm struggling is my afternoon happy hour and closet eating when Joel leaves the house.  So it appears obvious to me that it's habits that has a hold of me. Every afternoon for several years, Joel and I have enjoyed wine/beer.  The last year or two I've served tapas with it.  We really enjoy this time together and it's a good experience we have. Also, I'm a closet eater.  Joel takes off and I go to the cupboards and refrigerator to see what I can snack on.  And if I'm doing this, most likely it's not the best food choices.  2 things of notice here. The first one is, Joel has always been supportive of me and has never said anything derogatory. So anything I feel, is something I put on myself out of guilt.  This too has become a habit.  I consciously need to make new healthy habits.

The next thing of note is that I get bored easily of foods and really like an array of options. For instance, we had eggs 3 mornings in a row. I wanted something different this morning.  So I served us cottage cheese with veggie strips and Canadian bacon, V-8 juice and coffee.  I was glad for the change.  Another thing I noticed is I'm getting tired of salads.  So this has got me thinking, why am I bored of foods when it is food that sustains me.  I've been looking at food in all the wrong ways.  Saying this  doesn't mean I know what to do, I'm just acknowledging to myself that I have a problem.  I have been saying the mantra "I eat to live; I do not live to eat. But the truth is, I've lived to eat all my life. 65 years.  So how do I change this mind set?  I don't know, but I'm going to research this.
Live as if I have a life worth living!
Be more with less!

S.M.A.R.T.

My coach on Living Young asked us to take some time and work on this acronym.  I've taken a couple days to think about it, so here I go.

S.   S is for specific. Be as specific as I can with what I am planning on accomplishing.  I will wake up each morning giving myself affirmations for the previous day and for the day to come and before I go to sleep I will review my day and give myself kudos for the job well done.  I will look at each days meal plan and prepare accordingly.  I will do some form of exercise daily, whether it is Yoga, Cardio, Walking or Pool.  I will drink plenty of water to keep my body well hydrated.

M.  M is for measurable.  How am I going to measure what my specific plan is?  I will make a chart with Affirmations, Meal Preparations,  Exercising & Water.

A.   A is for achievable. How will I achieve this plan?  I will check off everything done before I go to bed. I will keep this list where both my husband and I can see it, and ask him also to help me accomplish this by keeping me accountable.

R.  R is for realistic.  How realistic is this plan?  I have been careful on this plan to keep it at a level I can achieve.  I am not allowing myself to be set up for failure. 

T.   T is for time specific.   This plan will take 2 weeks and end on March 4.  Why 2 weeks?
Because I am on Phase I with the South Beach Diet for 2 weeks and I'm going to take this a step at a time.  I will then add my next S.M.A.R.T. for a period of time.

Phase 1 - Day 1 South Beach Diet

DIET - I hate this word.  To me diet means failure.  Why?  Because of the bazillion "diets" I've been on for the past 30 years.  Any every diet has lead to failure.  So....I'm in search of a new word to replace diet.  Something has occurred to me. With birthdays, people get tripped up with a number that they've turned.  Like; I'm 65. Oh, 65.  That is so old. Wow, 65, yikes!  It's just a number right?  Same with diet.  It's just a word. It's neither bad nor good. It just is.  This "diet" will be what I make of it.

So...
Why did I choose the South Beach Diet?  It's been around a long time and put together by a doctor.  It is intended for people who have heart or diabetes issues.  I have in the past been diagnosed as pre-diabetic and carrying around all the extra weight cannot be healthy on my heart.  It is considered to be a low carb diet.  I've been on something similar years ago and if I remember well, I did well on it. The premise is to omit everything that has sugar, all packaged foods, breads, rice, potatoes, etc.  I will be eating mostly vegetables, lean meats, limited fruits (more on this later) and other low fat proteins.

Phase 1 is for 2 weeks only and is fairly limited. Veggies, lean meats, and other low fat proteins.  No fruit or wine.  Pretty much that's it.  Very limited, but I will continue to remind myself, it's only for 2 weeks.  Like most diets and as a way of life, always remember to drink lots of water.  After 2 weeks, I then start Phase 2.  I will be on this phase as long as it takes to shed the weight until I'm at a healthy number.  I don't have a number yet in my mind. I'm hoping it will show by my blood tests results and how I'm feeling. 

I notice 2 things so far in this first day.  As soon as Joel walked out the door to go swimming, I wanted to go and find some snacks.  I didn't. Yeah!  Then about 1/2 hour ago my  clock said it was time to have wine and cheese.  Hard to break some habits. More water and started to write todays blog. 
Distractions are good. 
Eat to live!

Accountability - Is it wise?

I've chosen two main ways that I will achieve my goals. The first one is through an online program for seniors called Grow Young Fitness and they will primarily be my coach for exercise through stretching, cardio and yoga.  I am also following (as of today) the planned diet of the South Beach Diet.  This is eliminating all bad carbs and reducing even a few of the good carbs to being more manageable. This was designed for heart and diabetes patients.

Slowly but surely I've been letting people know that I am changing my ways of eating and exercising.  I don't know quite why I choose to tell some people.  However, once I do that, then I know people will be watching to see how I do.  I really don't like that part of it. I'd rather just have them see the results of what I'm doing.  Since my main goal is for the end result, I believe that I will keep what I'm doing to myself for now.

I'm feeling positive about my choice to follow these two programs and am committed to put this at the beginning of my days.
Keeping it moving!

Where Is My Focus?

"Never give up on a dream just because of the time it will take to get there. The time will pass either way."  I just read this today from my fitness coach.  I've asked this of myself many times.  When I think of my dream, is it to loose weight because of a number, look better in clothes, because I can't walk 1 flight of stairs without getting out of breath or is it because I want to be healthy all around?  I can honestly say I've never given up on this dream and I may fool myself but the dream is to look thin.  Something has occurred to me though. I could be thin and still out of breath when I get to the top of the first flight of stairs. So, I'm a thin unhealthy woman.  Is this what I want my dream to be?  Next, this dream. Over 30 + years, how many times have I started my way to being thin? I have no idea how many times I started but didn't stick to the dream because of I'd just give up. Why? Because it would take so very long. Well guess what, the time still passed and I am now even heavier. 
Insanity!
I've done the same thing over and over through out the years and

have had the same results. So, I think I may have this finally

figured out. It's my focus. Rather then on weight, focus on moving

every day and focus on eating the food that will work for me, not

against me turning what I eat into more fat going through my body.
 
I have found two  separate places where I am getting the help I need to keep moving daily and eating the foods that works for me.  I found them within the same week I begun to figure this all out. The first one is Grow Young Fitness aimed at Seniors of any age.  The other one has been from a heart doctor named Arthur Agatston M.D. He is the dr. that wrote the book and has brought to me the health plan for daily eating.  The name of the book is the South Beach Diet.  As I write my daily blog, I will report on my successes following these two programs.

Keep Moving for Life!

1971 - 1985 Twiggy & 3 babies later!

Growing up, I never considered myself thin, nor did I consider myself fat.  What I did do was measure myself by how others looked.  However, my means to shedding a few pounds was never done with health in mind. It was done to get these pounds off quickly. Somewhere in my 20's I remembered being told that I resembled Twiggy.  I of course new who she was as she was a top model that was tall and very lean.  I must say I did have long thin legs, and really was at a nice weight looking back now.  The picture I've inserted here (need to add this when we get back to Spokane where my pictures are) is before I had my first baby (now 45 yrs. old).  Over the course of the next 14 years and a total of 3 babies, I became non-active and eating a lot of junk food and gaining about 20 lbs.  I also had some complicated female organ problems and ended up have a total hysterectomy. 

Now, I could place blame on my gaining weight to a variety of issues.  I'm sure anyone that has gained weight could easily place blame on other people, circumstances of one's life, but truthfully, it was my own fault.  Call it rebellion, call it laziness, call it undisciplined, bottom line is I must place the blame on myself and do something about this.  I'm so tired of only thinking about my obesity when I wake up in the morning, when I am in front of a mirror, when I try on clothes and when I get on the scale.  I also am tired of not physically being able to take long walks, riding a bike, and getting winded when I go up 1 flight of stairs.  1 flight!

So starts the Yo-Yo diet.  I've been on this diet for 30 years.  Hmmm, why have I gained instead of loose to where currently I'm about 60 lbs heavier.  I remember being told back in a class I took about the word insanity.  The definition of insanity is...Insanity: "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results".  Albert Einstein   I could not possibly list the diets I've been on over the last 30 years. That would be impossible, but I've drank my way starting with the Cambridge diet, to having Phen Phen injections, to Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and many others including 500 cals. a day along with a little pill.  I didn't even tell anyone but my husband about this as I knew it was a bad idea, I was just desperate.  All helping me to loose a little weight, only to gain back quite a bit of weight.  I can't possibly imagine what it's done to my internal organs. 

Now at 65 and realizing I only have a few years left on this planet, that unless I take some serious steps, I may not live until I'm 70.  This scares me. Not because I'm afraid to die (I do believe in God and believe He has a place reserved for me in heaven) but because if I can be healthy, I can live a more enjoyable life doing the things I love while here on earth.  I love experiences of all kinds.  I love my time with my husband where ever we go. I love my children and grandchildren and love seeing how they are growing and maturing.

So, here I am. 65 years old, obese (by everything the computer says weight-to-height measurement) and coming to grips with my twilight years.  This is the beginning of my final journal in regards to my health in regards to my obesity.