Growing up, I never considered myself thin, nor did I consider myself fat. What I did do was measure myself by how others looked. However, my means to shedding a few pounds was never done with health in mind. It was done to get these pounds off quickly. Somewhere in my 20's I remembered being told that I resembled Twiggy. I of course new who she was as she was a top model that was tall and very lean. I must say I did have long thin legs, and really was at a nice weight looking back now. The picture I've inserted here (need to add this when we get back to Spokane where my pictures are) is before I had my first baby (now 45 yrs. old). Over the course of the next 14 years and a total of 3 babies, I became non-active and eating a lot of junk food and gaining about 20 lbs. I also had some complicated female organ problems and ended up have a total hysterectomy.
Now, I could place blame on my gaining weight to a variety of issues. I'm sure anyone that has gained weight could easily place blame on other people, circumstances of one's life, but truthfully, it was my own fault. Call it rebellion, call it laziness, call it undisciplined, bottom line is I must place the blame on myself and do something about this. I'm so tired of only thinking about my obesity when I wake up in the morning, when I am in front of a mirror, when I try on clothes and when I get on the scale. I also am tired of not physically being able to take long walks, riding a bike, and getting winded when I go up 1 flight of stairs. 1 flight!
So starts the Yo-Yo diet. I've been on this diet for 30 years. Hmmm, why have I gained instead of loose to where currently I'm about 60 lbs heavier. I remember being told back in a class I took about the word insanity. The definition of insanity is...Insanity: "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". Albert Einstein I could not possibly list the diets I've been on over the last 30 years. That would be impossible, but I've drank my way starting with the Cambridge diet, to having Phen Phen injections, to Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, and many others including 500 cals. a day along with a little pill. I didn't even tell anyone but my husband about this as I knew it was a bad idea, I was just desperate. All helping me to loose a little weight, only to gain back quite a bit of weight. I can't possibly imagine what it's done to my internal organs.
Now at 65 and realizing I only have a few years left on this planet, that unless I take some serious steps, I may not live until I'm 70. This scares me. Not because I'm afraid to die (I do believe in God and believe He has a place reserved for me in heaven) but because if I can be healthy, I can live a more enjoyable life doing the things I love while here on earth. I love experiences of all kinds. I love my time with my husband where ever we go. I love my children and grandchildren and love seeing how they are growing and maturing.
So, here I am. 65 years old, obese (by everything the computer says weight-to-height measurement) and coming to grips with my twilight years. This is the beginning of my final journal in regards to my health in regards to my obesity.
